In today’s fast-paced world, it’s often the most selfless people who are labelled as selfish. Picture a full-time working mum or dad, juggling kids, a mortgage, bills, and responsibilities toward the extended family. They find themselves in survival mode, focusing solely on the fundamental needs outlined in Maslow’s hierarchy: physiological needs like food, shelter, and clothing, and safety needs like job security and maintaining the household.
The Selfless Trap
As these selfless individuals strive to meet these basic needs, they often start to withdraw. Their meals are rushed, they don’t have time to savour life’s simple pleasures, and they can’t fully engage with their loved ones. Their spouse might talk to them at the dinner table, only to find them zoned out, lost in a whirlwind of future obligations and worries. This leads to accusations of selfishness, when in reality, these individuals are consumed by a deep concern for the future and a desire to provide for their families.
The truth is, their apparent detachment stems from a place of intense selflessness. They are so focused on not letting down those they love that they are perpetually living in the future, planning and worrying about the days ahead. They are not present in the moment because their minds are already preoccupied with tomorrow's tasks and responsibilities.
The Need for Self-Care
To genuinely serve others, you must first serve yourself. This means ensuring your own needs are met, allowing time for rest and recreation. Constantly running on empty not only exhausts you but also diminishes your capacity to care for others effectively. Remember, we are creative beings, and it is through creativity and self-care that we connect with our divinity and create magic in our lives.
This creative connection can lead to quantum changes in our material circumstances, relationships, and overall well-being. Therefore, it’s crucial to set aside time in your routine for hobbies and activities that reconnect you with yourself. This is not about taking on more chores disguised as hobbies but engaging in activities that truly rejuvenate you.
Finding True Recreation
True recreation should not feel like another item on your to-do list. It’s not about gardening just because the garden needs tending, unless gardening genuinely brings you joy and relaxation. Instead, focus on activities that don’t necessarily produce tangible results but help you reconnect with your inner self. This might be reading, painting, hiking, or simply sitting quietly and meditating.
By prioritising self-care and recreation, you not only recharge your own batteries but also become more present and engaged with your loved ones. This presence and engagement can transform relationships, fostering deeper connections and mutual appreciation.
Summary
In summary, to be truly selfless, you must start with self-care. It’s a paradox, but by ensuring your own well-being, you enhance your ability to care for others. Set aside time each week for activities that help you reconnect with yourself. This will not only improve your own mental and emotional health but also allow you to be more present and effective in your relationships and responsibilities.
Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish. It’s a necessary step towards being able to genuinely and sustainably support those you love. So, prioritise self-care, embrace recreation, and watch as the magic unfolds in your life and the lives of those around you.